A letter to my baby

So, when I was pregnant Corry and I had been keeping a baby journal.  Just a journal full of things that we wanted our baby to know one day.  A picture of who we were and what we were feeling.  When I miscarried we decided that we were going to burn the journal as kind of a funeral.  I was looking through the journal and I saw this entry and after reading my Mamma's blog about my Papa, I decided I wanted to post this entry.

Dear Baby,
I wanted to tell you more about your Grandparents.  Your Great Mamma, who I've mentioned before, her name is Sandra Ida, but most people call her Sandi.  She is fun and warm and nice and smart and also a little bonkers.  Sometimes she'll freak out and call people, "COCK EYED PIGS!"  but it's something that she'll laugh about later.  She loves to laugh.  I love her very much.  I think the reason I love makeup and looking pretty so much is because of her.  She taught me all about that stuff when I was little, and let me practice on her.  Your Mamma is the best cook, and I hope by the time you're born I'll know how to make gravy as good as her, but I doubt it.  She's the best.  Your biological Great Papa's name was Gilbert.  People called him Gil.  He was the kindest, gentlest man I have ever known, (but your Daddy is a like him in a LOT of ways.)  Papa loved to sing.  He and Mamma sang together all the time, in church and at home.  I miss the music that they made together, and I bet she does, too.  She doesn't sing quite as much anymore.  Papa delighted in all the things the people he loved did.  He was always there for us with a laugh and a smile and a compliment.  He gave the best hugs and he could fix anything that was broken, except for his lungs I guess.  No one ever actually expected that a stupid disease could beat such a strong and exuberant man.  Maybe that's why no one has gotten over his death, even 10 years later.  It feels like it should have never happened.  He left behind such a BIG hole in all our hearts, I STILL cry regularly, missing him so much.  He would have been so excited that you are on your way.  I think he would have been really, really happy to be your Great Papa.  Someday you'll get to meet him though, and until then you won't be without a Great Grandpa.  Mamma remarried to your Great Grandpa Jim.  He is a very nice man.  He likes books and sports and he loves his grandkids.  I'm sure you'll love him like I do.  Anyways I just wanted to tell you about them.  I love you my sweet baby, Mommy.

There is a lot to be sad about in this world, but there is so much to be thankful for too.  I'm really glad that my baby isn't all alone.  I'm really happy that I've had and still have so many people that love me.  It's still hard though, to cope with loss.  It makes it all the more important to appreciate each other while we're still on earth.